so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
