Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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