everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
