My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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