There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
