the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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