Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
