Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
