haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize