just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
