I bet he comes in French.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Randomize
