Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
