He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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