the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
