How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize