did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
