Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
