At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
