There is no way he is gay with that hair.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
