hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
