She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't deserve a penis
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
