I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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