she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Randomize
