i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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