I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
