whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
