You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize