yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
