Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
