Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Randomize
