Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
