My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
