I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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