I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
