Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
