The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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