Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
We talked him into tasing himself.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
