So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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