Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
