In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Randomize
