I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
