Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Randomize