How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
