Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
