ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
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