Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Randomize
