meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just cropdusted the office
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
