There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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