I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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