do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
