If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Randomize