she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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