i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize