come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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