He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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