C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
no, he came in my armpit
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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