Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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