we're blogging at a bar
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
