you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I believe in your delicious
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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