I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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