thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
