My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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