You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize