I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Randomize
