her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
